For the month of Valentine's Day, we dare to talk about a subject as spicy as the little cinnamon hearts; Tantra for Women! Between spirituality and sexuality, tantra fascinates and arouses curiosity, Mme L'Ovary went to ask a specialist!
Special guest: Marika Tousignant, Intimacy Coach and Massage Therapist
Passionate about the human and the link between spirituality & sexuality, Marika Tousignant is a tantra facilitator (since 2013) and offers private intimacy coaching for individuals and couples. A massage therapist by training since 1998, she is committed to her own path of awakening and has accumulated more than 20 years of research and experimentation.
💡 This article is a summary of the monthly "Red Table Events", organized by Mme L'Ovary. 💡
The Red Table is a space for educational, safe and inclusive discussion to gather and address topics that are still often taboo. The floor is entirely left to the invited experts, as well as to the community present. These discussions reflect opinions and in no case should they be considered as medical recommendations.
What is ecstasy?
Ecstasy = getting out of oneself. It's also merging with my partner, merging with life. Tantra is about creating the winning conditions to achieve ecstasy.
What is sacred intimacy?
It is a deep inwardness where the core of each partner can meet. It is a conscious intimacy, precious and to be cherished.
What can the practice of tantra bring us concretely?
Moments of eternity, joy and vitality, depth and quality of presence.
What is the difference between sexuality, sensuality, and eroticism?
- Sensuality: feeling, the 5 senses, fully inhabiting one's body.
- Eroticism: playing with the volume of desire in us, a progression that increases excitement as well as the desire for deep union.
- Sexuality: it is genital aspects, it is the satisfaction of the sexual instinct.
How to get out of sexual myths?
First by realizing that they exist, then it's easier to get rid of them. Beliefs such as the fact that women must satisfy their man or that they have a sexual duty towards them or the fact that the man must keep an erection for a long time or beliefs around the ideal sexual scenario, etc.
What does tantra for women mean?
The man might be content with sexual fast food, but the woman has the intuition that there is a temple in sexuality. Be careful not to fall into power dynamics. Take the time, honour the different rhythms.
How to communicate better in bed?
We want to speak openly, but be careful because people are vulnerable in the intimate sphere, so we need to choose our words with thoughtfulness. It is important to speak with "I", wait for the right moment and always add a touch of positivity.
The basics of tantra?
The most important thing is the quality of presence. Find out more about this; there are several books, videos and workshops available.
For singles: make love to oneself in slowness, conscious presence. Take the time to love yourself through this act.
As a couple: commit to nourish the garden together. Focus on connection and understanding above all else.
Concrete tools for the practice of tantra?
- Learn to breathe better. Dare to make sounds (it amplifies the sensations!).
- Dare to move, and change positions.
- Mindfulness, yoga.
- Exercises to open the body (massage, dance, etc.).
- Ritual of worship.
- Take the time to look the other in the eyes.
- Reconnect with the mystery.
- Slow down to recreate the flow experience.
- Work the muscles of the perineum.
- Cultivate energy circulation.
- A lot of non-genital touch (caresses, kisses).
- Celebrate the other.
Do you want to see the recording of our online Red Table event, it's here (and free)! In French only.
The keys for a couple that lasts?
Both invest in sexuality; we can't leave it to chance. Give yourself specific times to enter a tantric space, create precious moments and embark on a journey of intimacy. Do not be afraid of sexual breakdowns (moments with less libido are natural!). Reinventing yourself. Include play in the sexual act.